What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
