My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
