we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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