Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We smell like vodka and hangover
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