life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
