these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
