she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
