I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
