and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
