Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
