obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
