You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
