I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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