Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
