Got a toothbrush?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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