Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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