Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your penis caused this!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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