he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
