Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
