I wannas sexs uuuuu
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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