It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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