She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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