So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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