"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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