I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
