my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it's like heaven, but drunker
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
