a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've blown a few things in my day
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
