I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
