He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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