How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
