Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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