Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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