And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
