alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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