I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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