The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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