as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
