There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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