I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize