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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize