Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
