hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You almost got us killed.
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