the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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