Ketchup is God's man juice
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
