I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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