so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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