So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
