I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
birth control should be required to get into college
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
