So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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