I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
