things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize