the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
