I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
