Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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