do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you had me at cake vodka
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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