I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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