I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
