dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
your room smells of hookers.
And success
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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