I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
